


is this temporary?

by normanwell



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: College AU, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, doubts and reassurances, no beta we die like gnf in manhunt, sapnap is not having a good day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:54:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29889705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/normanwell/pseuds/normanwell
Summary: Sapnap isn't having a good day, and Dream doesn't know why.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 119





	1. doubts

Was this temporary?

Sapnap laid in bed, hugging his beige comforter to his chest. His bed felt cold. He missed the gentle arms wrapped around his midsection and the gentle breathing against the nape of his neck.

Stray strands of hair fell into Sapnap’s face, the ponytail he fell asleep in was rendered essentially useless.

Sapnap didn’t like mornings like this. Mornings where he lay in bed, dark thoughts clouding every inch of his mind. Thoughts of  _ ‘I don’t deserve this’ _ and  _ ‘he doesn’t love me.’ _ He needed to cry, but no tears welled behind his eyes. Most mornings like this he stared at the wall, eyes and face blank. His resting expression twisting into a frown. Nothing anyone tried made him smile- genuinely, at least. Sapnap always mustered up gentle smiles to at least soothe the worries of his friends.

But nothing could cure the ache in his heart, and the little inkling in the back of his mind telling him that he didn’t deserve the good things and that his boyfriend didn’t love him, even though Dream had made it clear that he did. He had a gut feeling that he didn’t.

Sapnap didn’t know how long they would be together. That this would be a temporary thing until they graduated college.

The two had known each other since the fifth grade, and they had practically become inseparable since Sapnap fell on the blacktop, ripping up his knees and knocking out a tooth in the process of trying to hit a ball in four-square. Sapnap could recall the blonde, gapped tooth kid with green shorts and a white shirt scrambling over to him to make sure that he was alright. Sapnap remembered the green velcro shoes that were next to his face as he lifted his head, nose, and mouth bloody. Dream had offered him a hand, and Sapnap took it. That moment sealed their fate then and there.

But did it?

The thought lingered in the back of Sapnap's mind. He kneaded the beige fabric in his hands. He was glad he didn’t have class today. The slight gratefulness rising in his chest was soon stomped out. Dream was in class, probably. He looked at the electric alarm clock next to him. It was 12:46. Dream wouldn’t be back for another hour.

So Sapnap waited.

And waited.

And watched as the minutes slowly ticked by. He stared at the wall for what felt like hours.

一

Sapnap was still, his eyes glaring ice-cold daggers into the grey wall across from him. He held the comforter in his hands, his hair falling over his face as the minutes passed. All Sapnap could do was stay still, and lay there, not thinking.

He didn’t even jump at the gentle mewl from his and Dream’s cat, Patches as the front door of their apartment opened. He barely hears the gentle calling from the person stepping through the door. Sapnap listened to the gentle rustling of bags being put down, and the souls of shoes hitting the ground.

The door clicked shut, and keys jingled.

Sapnap remained still, his gaze fixated on the wall in front of him. There was a gentle murmur in the hall, feet pressing against the hardwood floor. Sapnap didn’t pay attention as the weight got closer and closer until there was a knock at the door.

“Sapnap?”

Sapnap didn’t respond. He gently shuffled his blankets, pulling them up farther. They covered his shoulders and the bottom of his head. The doorknob gently twisted, the door pushing open. The hallway was dark, the only light in the room was the beating midday sun.

Dream scanned the room for any sign of Sapnap, hardly noticing the pile of blankets on the edge of the bed. Dream gently huffed out his nose, walking over to the lump, Patches on his trail. She hopped up onto the back of the bed, gently kneading the blankets covering Sapnaps calves. He made a small face of discomfort before relaxing.

Dream knelt, joints popping as he met Sapnap’s eyes. “Hey baby,” Dream hummed quietly, resting his hand next to Sapnaps. His pointer finger twitched, reaching out to hook it around Sapnaps. “Everything alright?”

Sapnap didn’t move. He let Dream curl his pointer finger around Sapnaps pinky. Dream frowned, slightly tilting his head to the side. A soft look of concern made itself apparent in Dream’s eyes. 

Sapnap hated it.

_ Stop worrying about me.  _ The words were trapped in his brain.

_ Stop worrying.  _ He repeated.

Dream frowned, slowly standing up. His fingers lingered on Sapnap's hand before he completely pulled them away. Dream exhaled, turning to leave the room. Patches stayed curled next to Sapnap’s leg.

_ He doesn’t care. Stop pretending like he does. _

Sapnap’s mind was evil, he had decided a long time ago. The first time his mind had turned on him was his sophomore year of high school when he had gotten his first girlfriend. He loved her, he did. Sapnap was sure she loved him too, but after 6 months of a peaceful relationship, the little inkling in his mind had shown up. It whispered ‘ _ she doesn’t need you’ _ and  _ ‘she’d be happy without you’. _

And he tried to ignore it. For weeks. But ignoring it just made it worse. So one day, Sapnap broke it off. The two broke up in the parking lot, Sapnap earning a harsh slap to the face as she ran away crying. Sapnap stared at the painted blacktop with a stoic expression.

He remembered calling Dream. He was sobbing so hard he was choking on his air- he felt like he was dying, and he might as well have been in that moment. Sapnap could hardly breathe, and every time he tried to tell Dream what fucking happened he would only sob harder.

Dream listened, gently shushing him and reassuring him whenever it became too much. Dream had offered to come over, and Sapnap silently agreed.

The blonde showed up at his front door within five minutes, his black car parked on the curb in front of the walkway. Dream pushed the door open, greeting Sapnap’s mom and sister before he walked back to the pitch-black room Sapnap sat in. Sapnap looked at Dream with puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks. Dream’s heart broke at the sight.

Dream sat on Sapnaps bed, Sapnap seated between his thighs, arms wrapped around his midsection. Sapnap gently held one of Dream’s thumbs as Dream whispered reassurances into the other’s ear until he fell asleep. Dream wondered what happened. He thought they had loved each other, didn't they?

一

Sapnap finally moved. He wiggled his fingers, letting them break free from the impossibly heavy burdens weighing him down. Sapnap ran his palm against the stubble forming on his chin, breathing out of his nose.

What mattered is that he wasn’t staring at the wall anymore. 

Purple bags were apparent under his eyes. He hadn’t been getting much sleep recently. Things were going too good for him, so now he just had to wait for the little monster in the back of his mind to take over. To ruin things for him. His mind couldn’t let him have one nice thing.


	2. reassurance

Albeit, Dream was worried.

He didn’t know if Sapnap had moved since he had woken up, and by the looks of the empty look on his face and eyes, he hadn’t. Dream’s heart broke looking at him.

Sapnap didn’t reply to him, he didn’t even move when he had grazed his finger along the other’s hand. Dream nervously paced in the kitchen, biting down on his nails. What could he do?

Dream reached into one of the cabinets, pulling a cast-iron skillet that his mom had given him when he moved. He placed it on the gas stovetop. He rummaged around in the fridge, grabbing the milk and a few eggs before turning to another cabinet to grab a bowl. Dream pulled open a drawer, grabbing a spatula and a fork.

Dream decided that he’d make them lunch. It wasn’t much, but it was what they had and what two pretty much broke college seniors could afford. 

Dream cracked two eggs over a bowl, gently beating them with the fork. He mixed milk and pancake mix, turning on the heat under the skillet and dropping a generous glob of butter. He poured large servings of the pancake batter into the skillet, watching as the butter sizzled around the edges. He flipped them, pulling them off the skillet, turning the heat off, and placing them onto a different plate. He repeated the process with the other pancakes.

Dream poured the eggs onto the skillet, gently shuffling them around with the spatula. Dream stared death-glared the eggs- almost like they had killed his entire family. He split them in half, scooping them onto the separate plates. Dream covered one with saran wrap and placed it on the top shelf of the fridge. He pushed his plate back a little closer to the wall before he quietly walked out of the kitchen.

Dream made the agonizing trip to his and Sapnaps room, gently knocking and pushing the door open. Dream entered, silent. The blonde gently scratched Patches’ head, before wiggling into bed behind Sapnap. Dream wrapped his arms around Sapnaps shoulders, tucking his forehead into the back of his neck.

He didn’t push, and he didn’t pry. The gentle rubs he had left on Sapnap’s shoulder told the other that he was here. Sapnap’s body turned into putty under Dream’s touch, leaning into the other. Dream pressed a gentle kiss to the nape of Sapnap’s neck.

“Hey, baby,” Dream said quietly, “I made food, come out when you’re ready, okay?” Dream said, and he felt Sapnap nod. He squeezed Sapnap before sitting up, lugging himself off the bed.

Dream walked out of the room, closing the door leaving it slightly cracked. He picked up his plate and hopped up onto the counter, stabbing his fork into painfully dry pancakes and fluffy eggs.

Dream heard shuffling from his room, looking to the right. He was met with Sapnap shuffling down the hall, wearing one of Dream’s hoodies. It hung loose on him, the long sleeves falling over his hands.

Sapnap stood like a ragdoll. His head uncomfortably hanging in front of him, his arms and shoulders carrying what seemed like a thousand pounds. Patches trailed the raven, curling her tail around his ankle. He gently huffed out of his nose, shuffling over to Dream. 

Dream set his plate next to him, extending his arms out. Sapnap collapsed onto his chest, pressing himself against the counter, wrapping his arms around his waist.

“I’m sorry,” Sapnap said quietly, letting his tousled hair fall over his face.

Dream blinked, “Why?” Dream rubbed gentle circles into Sapnap's shoulder, gently kissing the top of his head.

Sapnap stood quiet. His arms shook, and shoulders heaved. “For not being good enough for you-” Sapnap cried. For the first time that day, Sapnap had let the dam of tears flood his eyes and fall over his face.

Dream’s heart shattered into pieces. He gently pressed his hand to Sapnap’s cheek, lifting his face. He wiped tears off the others' faces with his thumbs but they just kept coming. Sapnap hiccuped, his shoulders bouncing with every sob. Dream pressed his lips to Sapnap’s forehead, whispering gentle reassurances into his skin.

“Sapnap,” Dream whispered, “don’t say that.” He frowned. “You’re plenty good enough, Sapnap.”

Sapnap shook his head. “I don’t believe you,” he cried, headbutting Dream's chest. Dream carded fingers through Sapnaps hair, gently twisting and tugging.

“But you are,” Dream whispered into his temple, “You’re amazing Sapnap.” Dream pressed a kiss to his right temple. “We all have bad days- some worse than others- but that's okay, okay?” Sapnap nodded, hiccuping again.

“And it’s okay that you’re not feeling okay right now, I’m here to talk about it when you’re ready.” Sapnap nodded again, arms shaking around Dream’s torso. His breathing was unsteady and uneven.

“Count to ten,” Dream said, humming a gentle tune. He remembered doing this the night Sapnap broke up with his girlfriend. They counted to ten for what felt like an hour, Dream quietly humming the same progression of notes.

“I love you,” Dream hummed into the top of Sapnap’s head. “Everything is alright, I got you, okay?”

Sapanp nodded, staying silent. He pressed his head closer to Dream’s chest. Dream slightly shuffled, hopping down from the counter. “Movie?” Dream suggested, and Sapnap nodded. The two walked to the couch, Dream sitting down and Sapnap sitting between his legs. Dream tossed a blanket over both of them, both arms tangling around his midsection, one hand finding Sapnap’s hand.

Dream had barely put a movie on before Sapnap closed his eyes, placing his ear against Dream’s chest. Sapnap listened to Dream’s heartbeat. It was oddly grounding, but he was thankful. Dream asked for a suggestion, smiling when there was no response. He looked down at Sapnap, his breathing even and soft. He looked at peace. Whatever was under his skin was gone for now, and that was enough.

This wasn’t a temporary thing. Sapnap was glad.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you guys liked it :D this one was more personal to me aghusf and i barely remember writing it but anyways, kudos and comments are appreciated :]
> 
> if you wanna see me talk abt my wips follow me on twt @normanwellx !!


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